Do opposites really attract? - Christian Singles Series (Part 3)

{Ashley’s Story continues}

I followed my heart. I convinced myself that it would be no big deal. Corbin and I were so compatible. We enjoyed spending time together. We liked the same movies and spending time outside. We were interested in the same books and political ideology. I could consider him the male version of myself.

I was counting on God to still bless my marriage even though the man I HAD CHOSEN was not a man of God. Then one afternoon I had forgotten about popped into my head in the middle of our wedding ceremony. I tried to shake these thoughts from my mind but it was impossible.

Corbin and I met up for brunch on a Saturday afternoon. Before I could even seat down Corbin blurted out, “I don’t want to get married in a church?”

I opened my mouth to protest. I was surprised by his admission but not really. I was hoping he would relent this one time and agree to a church wedding but he did tell me before we got engaged that he would not step foot in a church.

“Okay.” I knew how he felt from the start of our relationship so I didn’t pressure him. I would just need to find an excuse to tell my mother. She assumed the wedding would be at the church I was raised in. I was disappointed but I wasn’t going to let that get me down.

“We can just pick a different venue.” I said before ordering a hot tea and sandwich.

He smiled from across the table.

“But,” I added. “my pastor will be marrying us and she is going to want to do pre-marital counseling with us.”

His smile quickly turned into a grimace. “Absolutely not.” He protested. “I told you I don’t want to meet with no Jesus people. They will try to convert me while judging me.”

“It’s not like that.” I tried to reassure him.

“How do you know? You’ve never been to pre-marital counseling before.” He countered.

To be honest I was nervous about how the reverend would react once she found out I was marrying a man that did not know Christ.

He grabbed my hand and massaged it gently, “Sweetheart we already know this marriage is forever. You are my soul mate. We don’t need pre-marital counseling.”

He was right! I put my trust in him. We could get through any problems that might occur, together.

“Your right.” I smiled back. “But what if she won’t marry us?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Then that’s her loss.”

I pulled out my daily planner to jot down a reminder to call the church and schedule a meeting with the pastor to discuss whether or not she would still marry us. I’m sure she would but I just needed to make sure.

Corbin then turned to me and said, “I have one final issue and I know you’re going to have a big problem with this one but I ask that you open your mind and be receptive to what I’m about to say out of love.”

Instantly, I was put on guard. I held on tightly to my spoon wondering what the next words out of him mouth were going to be. “Our finances.”

I immediately relaxed. He had nothing to worry about on that end. I had created a great budget for the wedding and we were still well within our budget. Any concerns he had could be easily addressed.

“When I was looking through your finances I noticed you give 10% of your paycheck off the top to the church.”

“That’s right.” I nodded my head in agreement.

“That’s gross? Not net? Correct?”

“Yes” I replied.

“Why are you giving free money to the church?”

“I’m being obedient to what the bible says,” Now I was becoming annoyed. “besides this is my money, coming out of my paycheck. Why are you concerned?”

“I make more than you so if you give money to the church who is going to put up that extra money that is coming out our household. It would be me. That’s not fair.”

I looked at him and reminded him of his promise. “You said you would not interfere with my religious beliefs at all.”

“Your religious beliefs are infringing on me?” He raised his voice and looked around before lowering it again. “Look, I’m not saying you need to stop giving money to the church after all the money is tax deductible. I just believe it should be lowered to perhaps 1-3%.” Just until after the wedding. This wedding is expensive and we can revisit it again at a later date.”

I didn’t want to agree but again I gave in to what he wanted just to keep the peace.

Now, as I stand at this alter and I remember that brunch date we had last year I realize this is a mistake and I cannot go thru with this. This marriage is not for me. Corbin is not for me.

I hold up my hand in the middle of the ceremony and say, “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

Let’s analyze Ashley’s situation

Red Flags. Red Flags. Red Flags. If you notice the red flags don’t ignore them. That is the holy spirit talking to your conscience telling you to stop and pray.

There are 2 points that should be addressed in the conversation between Ashley & Corbin.

The Man She Chose

The 1^st is when Ashley acknowledged that the man, SHE CHOSE is not a man of God. Notice that she didn’t say this man was the one God had intended for her. No, she knew and was full aware of what she was getting into because of her decision to choose this man and not wait on God.

Ashley is settling for less than she deserves. She deserves to have a man love her the way Christ loves the church and although Corbin may be loving and caring now can she guarantee that his behavior will continue.  

This man didn’t know the bible and didn’t want to know the bible so how he could lead her properly when he didn’t know Christ. Christ is the head. He is the example. He is what a Godly man is supposed to model his behavior and actions after. Corbin was missing those attributes.

She put her trust in Corbin

Secondly, when Ashley thought to herself, ‘I put my trust in Him.’ Who is he? Who is Corbin? That any Christian would place their trust in another man. A man that is prone to make mistakes and sin. A godly man will make mistakes. They are not perfect but the difference is who they turn to in their time of need. A Godly man will humble himself and fall to his knees pray and look for guidance in the Word. Where will Corbin go to get advice when hardships come their way as a married couple.

Although, I believe there are plenty of interfaith marriages that do work. I also believe that usually one partner is doing a lot of compromising in order to make that marriage work. God said over and over again in the bible that his people were not to marry the people from the land they were occupying.

This burden usually falls on the women. She may stay away from church because she doesn’t want to cause trouble in her marriage and she doesn’t want the church to know how unhappy she is.

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